St. Nicholas Melkite Greek Catholic Church

 Are you Reactive or Responsive? ©
 

In every situation that we encounter in our daily life, whether it is in business or in relation- ships, we have two psychological ways to deal with it: either we become Reactive or Responsive. In the Reactive mode, we feel stressed, pressured or fearful and therefore we lose perspective and often take things personally or sometimes out of proportion, become rigid, stubborn or less flexible. When the situation triggers a fear of rejection, fear of abandonment or fear of failure, combined with hurt, pain, shame, guilt or insecurity, the Reactive mode kicks in and we escalate.
What is happening when we experience the fear of rejection: you sense that the other is not acknowledging your thoughts and feelings; fear of failure: is felt by when you feel that you will not meet the other’s or your own expectations; and the fear of abandonment: is when you perceive that the other is leaving you emotionally or physically. When we address these fears and the pain, and start working towards the healing of Emotional Reactivity, we are able to become more Responsive.
The Responsive mode on the other hand, is a more relaxed state of mind. In this state, we see the big picture and not necessarily take things personally; we see things as they are and not worse than they are. Once we address the issues we are reacting to, we start taking responsibility and owner- ship. In the Responsive mode, we are at our best, and bring out the best in others. When we are Emotionally Reactive, we bring the worst in others and add more fuel to any situation.
Seeing the benefits of being Emotionally Responsive allows you to begin to cultivate peace by practicing kindness and gentleness. It is only in the state of being Responsive that you will start feel- ing the difference on the emotional, spiritual and physical levels, moving from the agitation of the mind and heart to the calmness and peace. At the end it is a matter of choice! Ask yourself:
Was I more Reactive or was I more Responsive today? The answer will determine the quality of your life and the transcendence of your wellbeing.
In today’s gospel (Luke 13: 10-17), Jesus shows us how He dealt with the leader of the syna- gogue, after being criticized for healing the crippled woman. He chose to be Responsive versus Reac- tive towards the attack on His character. Can we choose to do the same?

“A life of reaction is a life of slavery, intellectually and spiritually. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction.” (Rita Mae Brown)

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Wishing you a blessed week.